thoughts on joy and pain and the One who has it all in His hands

I'm reading another great book by Donald Miller (same author of "Blue Like Jazz")... this one is called "Searching for God Knows What." One of the chapters really has me thinking... which I usually don't have time for much anymore. :) It's all about how ever since the Fall, humans have been searching for love & significance, usually by trying to compare ourselves to others, always to be left disappointed. I don't know if you can relate, but sometimes I feel like I just don't fit into this world. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family, I'm so thankful for my home, my job, my friends... everything. I cherish the special times we have together. But through it all (life, that is)... there's always this longing in my heart. It's hard to describe. It's like I don't quite measure up or I'm not as good as others, or like everyone else in the world seems so happy-go-lucky and seems like everything is just fine and my insides are screaming that something is NOT right. I enjoy a day away at the beach with my family, but underneath the surface is the pain of knowing that Lindy would love to be doing the same, but can't because cancer and chemo have taken over their lives instead. I celebrate with one of the many family members or friends getting married this summer, I remember too well their enthusiasm of starting a life together. But the reality is that life is HARD; I wonder if they know what they're getting into? I guess it's the mystery of Joy and Pain. Can we have one without the other? Why did God allow sin in the first place?

I don't know the answers. But through it all, I KNOW that I have a Savior who has overcome. One who will one day come and make all things right again. HE alone is the reason I have any hope and purpose and incentive in this life. And reading this book has reminded me that it's okay to feel like every thing's not okay, because everything isn't. There is a terrible thing called sin in the world that affects all of us at the deepest level. BUT....

There is Jesus who has overcome. We don't have to live in despair or gloom... we can fix our eyes on Him and keep pressing on each day in this life that brings both joy and pain... and through it all seek to honor and glorify Him. All the while knowing that He understands and He loves us... no matter what.

Here's is a quote from the book that I thought was so powerful:

"But what we really need is God. What we really need is somebody who loves us so much we don't worry about death, about our hair thinning, about other drivers pulling in front of us on the road, about whether people are poor or rich, good-looking or ugly, about whether we feel lonely or about whether or not we are wearing clothes. We need this; we need this so we can love other people purely and not for selfish gain, we need this so we can see everybody as equals, we need this so our relationships can be sincere, we need this so we can stop kicking ourselves for the first time, not by realizing some dream, but by being told who we are by the only Being who has the authority to know, by that I mean the Creator." p.110, Searching for God Knows What.

Wouldn't it be an amazing world if all of us could see ourselves as God sees us? His holy and dearly loved children, completely loved and forgiven through Christ? I think if we could truly see ourselves the way God sees us, we would be FREE to love others in the same way. We would be free to live without fear, anger, or comparing ourselves to others.

Yes, there still is pain in the world; there will be until Jesus comes again. But while we wait, I pray we can embrace His love and share His love and live in peace knowing that He is Sovereign and He has all things in His loving hands.